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Extra Time!

This is a story from the FSF archive – the FSF and SD merged to become the FSA in 2019.

Have the laws of gravity, physics and the natural order of things changed and nobody’s told us? Something’s certainly been going and, and that’s the only reason we can think of to explain the strange goings on in the world of football and beyond in the past few weeks.

Normal service has been suspended, and strange things are happening all over the place. Take this, for example – since when did taking a goal-kick ever present a risk of scoring an own goal?   It’s some amazing backspin that the defender manages to get on this kick, although we don’t think he’ll be trying that tactic again.

We think the ref dropped a clanger, too, because as far as we’re aware you’re not allowed to score own goals from goal kicks. Freak weather conditions, dodgy refereeing, a strange new tactic to confuse the opposition? It’s strange stuff all round, whatever it is.

And it’s not just football that’s been susceptible to a bit of backspin-kicking confusion – take this penalty in rugby, for instance – the kicker manages to execute a perfect banana kick, bringing the ball back towards him at the end. Extraordinary stuff.

Back in the day, you could kick people in the head and not get so much as a telling off from the referee, but we all know that the modern game has gone all safety-conscious and nanny-state on us, meaning that the slightest contact results in the ref doing his best DJ Alligator impression. So it surprised us when we saw this clip from Holland of a clearly orchestrated and pre-meditated attempt by the attacker to floor 3 defenders in one attack.

To our astonishment, there wasn’t so much as a free kick given. Such a calculated assault (particularly in ensuring the third player went down) was somehow missed by the referee. A yellow card, surely, or perhaps just the invention of a new sport; a football-skittles hybrid? You be the judge.

From savage fouls to savage fans. Or should that be Savage Garden fans? Distinctly unnatural and disturbing, with a strange sound, some dodgy tattoos and not particularly photogenic faces, Savage Garden were an Australian popular beat combo in the late 1990s.

We’ve all seen the cultured midfielder scoring a wonder goal from inside his own half, or perhaps the striker taking advantage of the keeper being a bit too far off his line (and if you haven’t, then try these for starters), but this month even right backs are getting in on the action.

Now this fella’s obviously no Rob Jones (eight years at Liverpool and no goals), but when full-backs are slotting them in from 80 yards out, there’s definitely something wrong with the world.

Last, but by no means least weird, you’ve just got to marvel at the precision of this baseball hitter. It must be a real pain to get back to home plate and have to pick your bat up out of the dirt (it’ll get dust under your nails and all sorts), so he’s devised a new routine of leaving the bat upright until he gets back. Honestly, he could do that 1000 times over and never get the same result.

Look out for another Extra Time! in a couple of weeks, and if you made it this far you might also want to check out The Week That Was our weekly round up of football news posted every Friday afternoon at www.fsf.org.uk.

We’re getting scared now, so we’re off. If you spot any more shady goings-on in the world of football, then drop them to the usual address. Until next time, adios!

 

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