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The Week That Was

This is a story from the FSF archive – the FSF and SD merged to become the FSA in 2019.

International football is but a mere blip on the horizon as top-flight domestic football made its return but the week’s most intriguing news story was still sparked by international affairs. While it’s a well established fact that footballers like to spend a few quid on the horses it’s emerged that Arsenal’s Robin Van Persie took this one step further and invested in some horse placenta. Lovely. The Gunner’s mane man, hurt on Dutch duty, decided to have horse placenta rubbed into his leg to aid his recovery from injury.
 
Van Persie wasn’t the only one who’s been receiving this treatment though as The Indie revealed that Frank Lampard and Glen Johnson, among others, had also joined the field. Rumours that Ruud Van Nistelrooy had an entire face transplant are still to be confirmed.

It got us thinking, are there any equine innovations fans would like to see in the football world? The obvious one would be handicaps. For example, the next time Wigan visit White Hart Lane the powers that be could give them an eight goal head start. They might even hang on for a draw then.

Fair play to the Latics though, there’s no doubt they were absolutely spineless, dire, abysmal – use whatever adjective or four letter word suits – but the players came out and refunded the cost of the Wigan fans’ tickets. While, as fans, we’re never going to demand these types of gestures (you pays ya money…) Mario Melchiot and co’s efforts deserved a nod. If only they’d been so committed to the cause during the game.

There is a precedent for this though. In 1998 just under 800 Flamengo fans saw their team slip to a home defeat. It was such a shock to the system that club president Kleber Leite offered fans a refund if they lost their next game at home to Portuguesa. 50,000 turned up to see Flamengo lose 3-2 and Leite was left with a refunding nightmare. Although he probably sold a lot more Coca Cola and hot dogs. (Cheers to Andy Hudson for that one! Email your tall tales to the FSF if you think they’re worthy of inclusion.)

Awards season is still a bit away but we’ll definitely be nominating StainesNews.co.uk for the ‘Funniest Overreaction’ category. “Homeowners will be hiding cars and barricading houses when Millwall come to play Staines Town in the second round of the FA Cup,” wrote reporter Mark Goode who seemed more het up about it than anyone else. 577 replies later, the majority of them p*ss takes from Millwall’s fans, and it’s Armageddon.

Pompey meanwhile proved they have no Hart for the relegation dogfight and brought in everyone’s favourite Baron Greenback lookalike Avram Grant to save them. Helpful hint for managers everywhere – if Avram’s appointed to any role at your club, even kitman, you’d better look busy ‘cos that P45’s on its way.

Of course there’s been Champions League action this week too but it was all a bit dull wasn’t it? Even Liverpool’s exit was a bit of a damp squib, although at least they’ve got Europe’s equivalent of the Carling Cup to get their teeth into. For our money though the biggest story on Merseyside this week was the news that Everton’s planned move outside of the city’s boundaries to Kirkby is now off.

The government blocked the planned £400m development, which would’ve also include a Tesco superstore, because of fears it would harm the local community. Supporters’ Group Keep Everton in our City backed the decision and it now looks likely Everton will have to redevelop Goodison Park or find a more suitable location for a new stadium.

Lastly England’s 2018 bid was in the news again as the 15 cities hoping to be part of the World Cup submitted their proposals. Obviously the FSF is entirely neutral on this (although it would be nice if Staines hosted a few games) but you can read more, and nominate your preferred host city, on the England 2018 bid website.

Enjoy the weekend folks!

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